Sunday, December 30, 2012

John Wayne Bobbitt and his former wife have been reunited for the first time since she sliced off half his penis with a knife 16 years ago. (AFTER THIS CASE THIS PHARSE BECOME SYNONYMOUS FOR "CASTRATION,FACEOFFS AND ANTI RAPE STAND IN MARITAL RAPE OR OTHERWISE" WORLDWIDE...!!..VIBHA TAILANG)

John Wayne Bobbitt reunited with wife 16 years after she sliced off his penis

John Wayne Bobbitt and his former wife have been reunited for the first time since she sliced off half his penis with a knife 16 years ago.

John Wayne Bobbitt: John Wayne Bobbitt reunited with wife 16 years after she sliced off his penis
John Wayne Bobbitt Photo: AP
Lorena Bobbitt, who now uses her maiden name Gallo, claimed Mr Bobbitt still harboured feelings for her despite what happened, and continues to send her Valentine's cards and flowers.
The pair appeared on an episode of the US tabloid television show The Insider on Monday night and argued over what had gone wrong in their relationship.
"John, you did a lot of things to me that were very painful," Miss Gallo said, claiming he had forced her to have an abortion.
"You drove me crazy. You drove me insane. No woman should go through that I went through."
"I didn't really understand how sensitive you are," Mr Bobbitt, 42, from Buffalo, New York, replied. "You take things really seriously."
It was on June 23, 1993 that Miss Gallo, then 24, cut off more than half of her husband's penis as he slept. She had been in a "fit of rage" after he returned home drunk from a night on the town and allegedly raped her.
She left the house with the severed object and threw it out of the car window into a field, where it was found and surgically reattached.
Mr Bobbitt was acquitted of spousal rape and Miss Gallo was found not guilty of malicious wounding by reason of temporary insanity.
The pair subsequently divorced after six years of marriage.
Mr Bobbitt, who used his notoriety to become an adult film star, described the night it happened.
"I was bleeding to death. It was one of the most terrifying things I ever went through," he said.
Miss Gallo said: "I remember driving with his severed penis in my hand, and in my other hand I had the knife. I didn't even know how I got into the car, and apparently I had to toss it somewhere because I couldn't turn the wheel of my car, so I got rid of the thing. Then I learnt at the hospital later on that it was his penis."


How to Determine if Your Child Is Being Molested

9 authors | 20 revisions | Last updated: November 18, 2012
Determine if Your Child Is Being Molested
Child molestation is a very serious problem that can happen to any child. Determining if your child is actually being molested requires your best guess based on the proof that you find. Follow these signs if you have suspicions that you child is actually being molested and take immediate actions.


  1. 1
    Determine if your child has sleep disturbances such as bed-wetting, nightmares or if he or she is scared to go to bed.

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  2. 2
    Look for changes in your child's behavior such as having big-time mood swings, withdrawl from everything, fearfulness and crying on a regular basis.
  3. 3
    Beware if your child changes his or her toilet training habits.
  4. 4
    Watch if your child starts to develop fears of certain places, people or activities.
  5. 5
    Consult your child's school, if your child has problems in school or with his or her behavior such as acting out sexual activity or being curious about certain sexual matters.
  6. 6
    Inspect your child's body and look for unexplained marks such as Bruises, rashes, cuts, limping, multiple and poorly explained injuries.
  7. 7
    Observe your child's private areas and look for certain things such as pain, itching, bleeding, fluid or rawness.
  8. 8
    If your child has discovered masturbation, observe the intensity. If it is very intense and is only appropriate in teenagers (moaning, using lubricant, thrusting) your child might be molested. If the child has sex toys or is using methods children cannot know, a molester had to give them to the child.
  9. 9
    Observe the childs behaviour how he/she is with the other parent. Molesting at home usually happens whilst the mom is asleep
  10. 10
    Teach your child that NO ONE should be touching their private areas. That it is not ok for anyone. That if someone does to tell you and NOT to be afraid

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  • If your suspicions are confirmed about your child being molested take immediate actions, immediately investigate your child's pals, teachers, friend's parents and so on and report it to the police.

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Related wikiHows

Beginning the Conversation About Touching Safety Committee for Children

Beginning the Conversation About Touching Safety

Committee for Children

Beginning the Conversation About Touching Safety

A vital step that you can take to keep your children safe is to talk with them about touching and private body parts. This might not be the easiest subject to bring up with a child. You might feel uncomfortable or embarrassed talking with your children about sexuality or touching. These are common feelings. It is often hard to know what to say. Here are some tips to get you started.

Include Touching in Safety Rules

Make touching safety part of your family's safety rules. One way to make it easier to talk about touching is to discuss it in the context of safety. Touching is a safety issue just like crossing the street or playing with matches.
Some typical family safety rules are:
  • Never play with matches. (Fire safety)
  • Look both ways and listen before you cross the street. (Walking safety)
  • Always wear a seat belt. Always sit in your booster seat. (Car safety)
  • Never play with guns. (Gun safety)
  • Always wear a helmet when riding your bike. (Bike safety)
  • Never give out personal information over the phone. (Phone safety)
Create and teach family safety rules about touching just as you would teach other rules. Talking about personal safety in a sensitive and age-appropriate way with your children will not frighten them; it will give them skills and knowledge to use throughout their lives. You can begin teaching touching safety rules to children as soon as they are able to understand, even if they can't talk.

Use Everyday Moments to Teach

Children learn by asking questions, so a good way to talk about touching safety is to be open to questions and comments. If you're open and respond in a way that keeps the conversation going, you can turn a child's unexpected comment or question into a learning opportunity. Be sure to vary your responses according to the age of your child. Some situations that present natural teaching opportunities follow.
Bath or bedtime. When children are young and still need help with dressing and bathing, it's not unusual for them to ask the names of private body parts. Experts recommend that parents teach the correct names for private body parts, along with the names of other parts of the child's body. This normalizes the discussion and enables children to use actual words to use to describe their private body parts and to tell about abuse if it happens.
Physical play situations. Children love physical play, such as tickling and roughhousing. It is a normal part of childhood. It is also a great opportunity to introduce touching rules. Remind children of the rules on a regular basis: "Remember, we have a family touching rule. You can say 'stop' or 'no' when you don't want to be tickled, and the other person must listen to you." This gives children permission to set boundaries with unwanted or unsafe touch and opportunities to practice resisting.

When a child expresses curiosity about his or her body or about sexuality. Use such moments as an opportunity to follow up with age-appropriate information. Do your homework ahead of time by reading books on the subject so that you'll be ready when your child asks questions.

Before a child goes out, especially without you. Routinely go over safety rules, including rules about touching, before your family or child goes on an outing. Ask, "What are some of our safety rules about walking?" and "What are our safety rules about touching?"

Read a children's book together. There are a number of different books that are designed to help teach touching safety. Here are some suggestions for how to read the book together:
  • Choose a quiet time when you and your child will not be interrupted.
  • Read the book aloud as you would a story.
  • Listen carefully to what your child says while you read.
  • Show that you are open to whatever your child wants to tell you.
  • Use questions and comments as entry points to talk further about safety and touching and to introduce touching safety rules.
  • Ask open-ended questions that start or extend a conversation: "What do you think the boy should do?" "What kind of safe touch happened in the story?"
Appropriate videos can also be used in the same way. Check your local library for videos that address personal safety issues for children.

Revisit the Conversation

Just like crossing the street safely, touching safety is not a one-time conversation. Children need frequent reminders and practice of all family safety rules. Ensure that your children are learning the rules and skills to keep them safe by revisiting the rules during normal family activities.

Don't let embarrassment or nervousness get in the way of talking to your children about touching safety. Find a way that works for you and begin the conversation.

By Bridgid Normand, M.Ed.
Program Developer
Committee for Children

Bridgid Normand, M.Ed. is a program developer for Committee for Children and a former child and family therapist, school counselor, and parent educator.

Teaching Your Kids About Personal Safety Presented by the Center Against Rape and Domestic Violence

Teaching Your Kids About Personal Safety

Presented by the Center Against Rape and Domestic Violence

1 in 4 girls, 1 in 7 boys will experience some form of sexual abuse. More than 80% of the time it's someone the child knows.

How do you talk to your kids about these things?
  • Start with empowering and supporting your child's right to say "No" to touching. Tell your children, "it's ok to say no if you don't like the way someone's touching you."
Acknowledge and respect when your kids tell you "no" when you're tickling them, to reinforce the stop response. Let your family members know that your working with your kids on their personal safety so they can respect the child's choice without getting their feelings hurt. 
Often sexual abuse is a gradual incline, with the abusers testing and pushing the boundaries each time. If a child can say no at the beginning, they can likely stop the abuse.

  • Talk about different kinds of touching: Types of touching that feel good: tickling and hugs from people you love, and overly familiar touching that makes them feel uncomfortable; even if it's from someone they know and like. Teach kids to recognize and trust their feelings about touching.

  • Teach them to talk about uncomfortable and confusing situations.

  • Clear and specific definitions and instructions that are age appropriate. Make sure you and your child know the words for their body parts. They don't have to be the anatomically correct words, but you and your child need to know exactly what they mean.
Also, give clear instructions on what they should do in certain situations, "If somebody touches your crotch, you tell them NO and come and tell me right away."

  • Tell your children, "we don't keep those kinds of secrets in our house. And teach them the difference between a surprise and a secret: "A surprise is something that’s good that everyone is going to find out about at some point, a secret is something that no one is supposed to find out about and is bad."
Abusers often tell their victims to keep the abuse a secret, that it's something special between just the two of them.

What are things to look for:
Indirect statements, "the babysitter and I have a secret", "Mr. Jones has polka dots on his shorts"
Tricks bribes threats
Interest in genitals
Knowledge of sex beyond years
Afraid of a particular place or a particular person
Loss of appetite
Increase of appetite
Babyish behavior
Suddenly turning against one parent
*These behaviors aren't exclusive to abuse. But if a child is experiencing them, you should find out why.

Children who are at a higher risk:
Have less information
Have little sense of power
Are isolated

When a child confides, use the BASER method:

How to teach The Underwear Rule?The Underwear Rule was developed to help parents and carers start a discussion with their children. It can be a highly effective tool to prevent against sexual abuse.

How to teach The Underwear Rule?

The Underwear Rule was developed to help parents and carers start a discussion with
their children. It can be a highly effective tool to prevent against sexual abuse.
The Underwear Rule has 5 important aspects.

1. Your body is your own

Children should be taught that their body belongs to them and no one can touch it without
their permission. Open and direct communication at an early age about sexuality and
“private body parts”, using the correct names for genitals and other parts of the body, will
help children understand what is not allowed. Children have the right to refuse a kiss or a
touch, even from a person they love. Children should be taught to say “No”, immediately
and firmly, to inappropriate physical contact, to get away from unsafe situations and to
tell a trusted adult. It is important to stress that they should persist until someone takes
the matter seriously.
In the book, the hand always asks Kiko for permission before touching. Kiko grants
permission. When the hand wants to touch inside the underwear, Kiko says “No!”. Parents
or carers could use this sequence to explain to children that they can say “No” at any
2. Good touch – bad touch
Children do not always recognise appropriate and inappropriate touching. Tell children it is
not okay if someone looks at or touches their private parts or asks them to look at or touch
someone else’s private parts. The Underwear Rule helps them to recognise an obvious,
easy-to-remember border: the underwear. It also helps adults to start a discussion with
children. If children are not sure if a person’s behaviour is acceptable, make sure they
know to ask a trusted adult for help.
In the book, Kiko refuses to be touched inside the underwear. Parents can explain
that some adults (such as carers, parents or doctors) may have to touch
children, but children should be encouraged to say “No” if a situation
makes them feel uncomfortable.
In the book, the hand encourages Kiko to speak out if somebody wants to touch Kiko in
any inappropriate manner. This sequence can be used to discuss the difference between
a good secret (such as a surprise party) and a bad secret (something that makes the child
feel sad and anxious). Parents should encourage children to share bad secrets with them.
4. Prevention and protection are the responsibility of an adult
When children are abused they feel shame, guilt and fear. Adults should avoid creating
taboos around sexuality, and make sure children know whom to turn to if they are worried,
anxious or sad. Children may feel that something is wrong. Adults should be attentive and
receptive to their feelings and behaviour. There may be many reasons why a child refuses
contact with another adult or with another child. This should be respected. Children should
always feel that they can talk to their parents about this issue.
The hand in the book is Kiko’s friend. Adults are there to help children in their daily lives.
Preventing sexual violence is first and foremost the adult’s responsibility and it is important
to avoid putting all the burden on children’s shoulders.
3. Good secrets – bad secrets
Secrecy is a main tactic of sexual abusers. That’s why it’s important to teach
the difference between good and bad secrets and to create a climate of
confidence. Every secret that makes them anxious, uncomfortable, fearful
or sad is not good and should not be kept; it should be told to a trustworthy
adult (parent, teacher, police officer, doctor).
5. Other helpful hints to accompany The Underwear Rule
Reporting and disclosure
Children need to be instructed about adults who can be part of their
safety network. They should be encouraged to select adults whom they
can trust, are available and ready to listen and help. Only one member
of the safety network should live with the child; the other should live
outside the immediate family circle. Children should know how to seek
help from such a trust network.
Known perpetrators
In most cases the perpetrator is someone known to the child. It is especially
difficult for young children to understand that someone who knows them
could abuse them. Keep in mind the grooming process that abusers use
to win the trust of children. Informing parents regularly about someone
who gives gifts, asks to keep secrets or tries to spend time alone with a
child must be a set rule in the house.
Unknown perpetrators
In some cases the perpetrator is a stranger. Teach your child simple rules
about contact with strangers: never get into a car with a stranger, never
accept gifts or invitations from a stranger. .
Children should know that there are professionals that can be particularly
helpful (teachers, social workers, ombudspersons, physicians, the school
psychologist, the police) and that there are help lines that children can
call to seek advice.
Why The Underwear Rule?
About one in five children falls victim to some form of sexual abuse and violence. It
happens to children of every gender, every age, every skin colour, every social class
and every religion. The perpetrator is often someone the child knows and trusts. The
perpetrator can also be a child.
You can help prevent this happening to your child.
Good communication with children is the key. It implies openness, determination,
straightforwardness and a friendly, non-intimidating atmosphere.
The Underwear Rule can help you with this.
A child is never too young to be taught The Underwear Rule because abuse can happen
at every age.
If you find it uncomfortable to talk about this subject with your child, please remember
that it is probably more difficult for you as an adult than it is for a child.
What to do if you suspect abuse?
When you suspect your child has been abused, it is very important
not to be angry with your child. Do not make your child feel as if they
have done something wrong.
Do not interrogate the child. You could ask what may have happened,
when and with whom, but do not ask why it happened.
Try not to be upset in front of your child. Children can easily feel guilty
and may hold back information.
Try not to jump to conclusions based on little or unclear information.
Reassure your child that you will do something about it, and contact
someone who could help, like a psychologist, child care specialist,
doctor, social worker or the police.
In some countries special helplines and centres responsible for
helping child victims of sexual violence have been set up. They can
also guide you and should be contacted when a child is a possible
victim of sexual violence.